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Losing Him

from Good Grief! by Bridget Allan

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lyrics

I go to see you, and I sit next to you, in your medical bed in the dark
Your grey hairs are falling out
You say things that aren’t true, and I can’t hide my emotions
You ask what’s wrong? And why am I confused?
You still worry about me and you don’t want to see me stressed.
I wish you could understand that you aren’t making sense
You are becoming more and more delirious
and it is breaking my heart
I’m losing your wicked mind
I have to repeat information to you 5 times

I’m losing him, I’m losing him
I don’t wanna sing about it anymore
I’m losing him, I’m losing him
I don’t wanna sing about it anymore

I go to see you
My throat tightening
The pain just keeps extending
Cause you keep living
I’ve been mourning for months but you haven’t passed yet
I’m filled with negativity, is this something I’ll regret
I never show it to you

Later I go for a walk, and stand firm in the sand,
And look out on the bay of the island.
I’m isolated here, I won’t move on until I move out
But I’m waiting for you to die, first
I do nothing but sleep in, sing, and see you
We cuddled the other day, its been years
I held your hand, you held me.
It was beautiful intimacy.

I hold you, oh I wish that I could heal you
I hold you, oh I wish that I could heal you
The waves on the shore breathe in and out
I tried to breathe with it

I’m losing him, I’m losing him
I don’t wanna sing about it anymore
I’m losing him, I’m losing him
I don’t wanna sing about it anymore

I had the most fucked up dream you died in my arms at the cinema
And I travelled to another dimension, but you were dead there too, and I screamed and cried and couldn’t breathe
And I slapped myself in the face repeatedly to try and wake up
More nightmares have come

credits

from Good Grief!, released February 10, 2023

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Bridget Allan Melbourne, Australia

Bridget Allan is an indie/jazz-influenced singer-songwriter from the Mornington Peninsula. She is currently studying for a Bachelor of Music at the University of Melbourne, specialising in Jazz & Improvisation. Bridget’s most significant musical influences are Jeff Buckley and Florence + The Machine. ... more

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