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Forgotten Songs

by Bridget Allan

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1.
With all the lights off Peoples faces change The world is better at night My pain isn’t worthy of being noticed Its a waste of time We couldn’t save each other There was just a common understanding that we were drowning I don’t know how to talk to people! 
you say its hard being an artist, like you have any choice not to I am nowhere, I am nowhere at all I am nothing, I am nothing at all This void isn’t one to share But only you can make that call Why is no-one listening to each other I feel like no-ones even trying To walk away from lying I don’t have my own tribe I feel like I won’t get one before I die. I am nowhere, I am nowhere at all I am nothing, I am nothing at all This void isn’t one to share But only you can make that call make that call make that call for me
2.
Internalise and fantasise Just make it through these shitty times Try again and try again The pain is better than failure Help me, take me to the shore I’m only treating water One hand in front of the other Kick as hard as you can Constant dreams of catastrophe You know better than me The worlds gonna end The gas from the sky stings the citizens eyes You even know what scares me at night ….. Help me, take me to the shore I’m only treating water One hand in front of the other Kick as hard as you can I want you to know me You’ll be the first to have that burden You are safer than me You are safer than me You are safe far from me Help me, take me to the shore I’m only treating water One hand in front of the other Kick as hard as you can as hard as you can Ahhh ahh ahh ahh Ahhh ahhh ahh ahh Ahhh ahhh ahhh ahh
3.
I feel basically the same Not much has changed I do this for myself I do this for myself They found bombs on the beach And I found a brochure for seaside funerals Oh help isn’t on the way I missed my chance to book an appointment Humans weren’t meant to live like this, we are meant to fruit off trees and hold each other Are you smiling underneath your mask Or is the blistering sun burning your eyes? Are you alight? To keep up your silent fight? Why am I not happy at this point? I thought stability came with age? But my sad songs are the same Oh help isn’t on the way I missed my chance to book an appointment So I’m alone in my room My brain melting Humans weren’t meant to live like this, we are meant to fruit off trees and hold each other Are you smiling underneath your mask Or is the blistering sun burning your eyes? Are you alight? To keep up your silent fight? There’s no treasure here I cry there’s no tears You beg me to find motivation to get out of my room and bed
4.
Here comes the doubt, if I was gonna be successful it would’ve been by now. I think the universe is trying to tell me something Oh I hear the universe, trying to tell me something. Glamorising sadness, is the only way we get through Holding life will be better Constantly hoping life will get better, We’re not yet a hopeless case, good for nothing I don’t fit in my own city, no one knows me Oh I’m fine I just wish somehow would ask if I’m ok... Over time we are simply dust, and we float out of the coffin and up to the stars.... One of these days I’m never gonna come back.... One of these days....
5.
One day black earth under our feet will be it, This planet is fragile like porcelain Who the hell is gonna fix this? We need gas energy as much as the ocean needs oil spills Da da da da Who the hell is gonna change this?
6.
Young Love 03:26
On the train, I promise I won’t bother you again. My mood is maladjusted It hurts to be self aware Because I don’t like my discoveries My pain is only interesting the first time But you can show me home Oh my human, desire for home Bring me Back to your cobwebbed room I imagine you there sitting peacefully How long till I fit in? .. not sure I want to As long as I got you His face turns bright red but it’s not at all cute, like when you do it I hate seeing these boneheads here for the wrong reasons Egotistical boys with guitars They have no self reflection For gods sake Turn yourself down Your jokes are only funny the first time Please show me home Oh my human, desire for home Bring me Back to your cobwebbed room I imagine you there sitting peacefully How long till I fit in? .. not sure I want to , As long as I got you I got you
7.
Fresh new problems flood my screen, pining for fame, I won’t be satisfied until I choose to be, My addictions jump from one thing to another. None of this matters in the long run, What can I do that hasn’t been done? After life, wherever we go, I know you will wait for me And that’s all that matters Please wait for me Please wait for me I feel like I have chronic fatigue My mind is my greatest enemy And my cruellest weapon How could anyone not be exhausted? We are constantly overstimulated herd creatures With unnaturally large communities I am just content sitting shoulder to shoulder on my bed with you None of this matters in the long run, What can I do that hasn’t been done? After life, wherever we go, I know you will wait for me And that’s all that matters Please wait for me Please wait for me I’m running out of ways to say how I feel I will always think of you fondly, and answer your calls But I’m a pessimist and nihilistic None of this matters in the long run, None of this matters
8.
Monochrome 03:11
I’m becoming nocturnal And having breakfast at midnight And I’m seeing everything in monochrome Will everything be alright? Will everything be alright? Even if I can’t handle alone at night I’m chasing the rainbows And I’m desperate for meaning Oh and I travel my hometown to find a kind face to call my own Oh the family I buried before they were dead And there’s monsters in my closet, I couldn’t be bothered to confront Oh if I see you Will you say how far I’ve come? Cause I wanna see you too, I just need to know its reciprocated I’m chasing the rainbows And I’m desperate for meaning Oh I’m travelling my hometown, to find a kind face to call my own But I’m scared and fickle There’s no use for pain anymore, I’ve learnt all the lessons it could possibly teach me
9.
Images of a past life, they haunt me even when I’m not in strife I collect the memories in my nostalgia jar that’s been there my whole life I try to breathe but my lungs fail and I am here again My nightmares so odd I just have to laugh And my limbs shake, cause I’m afraid of heights So I am here again At your timber door, for comfort Oh goddess of love don’t leave me now, Im thrown up into a sitting poison, in the middle of an epiphany We all know where we go in our sleep/death, but no-one cares to admit it No cares I try to breathe but my lungs fail and I am here again My nightmares so odd I just have to laugh And my limbs shake, cause I’m afraid of heights So I am here again At your timber door, for comfort Nothing at all You dream of nothing at all Nothing at all You dream of nothing at all

about

All music*, recording and mixing** by Bridget Allan
*Bass on ’Introspective Villain’ is by Marlon Cini
**Treading Water’ is mixed by Calvin Lauber
Cover photo by August MacDonald
Recorded on the stolen lands of the Bunurong people of the Kulin Nation.

© Bridget Allan 2021. All rights reserved.

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released June 28, 2021

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Bridget Allan Melbourne, Australia

Bridget Allan is an indie/jazz-influenced singer-songwriter from the Mornington Peninsula. She is currently studying for a Bachelor of Music at the University of Melbourne, specialising in Jazz & Improvisation. Bridget’s most significant musical influences are Jeff Buckley and Florence + The Machine. ... more

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